Bonding with one twin..

Bonding with one twin..

It’s occurred to me that I only get chance to bond with my children properly when one of them is poorly. 

Since having Twins I have always tried to show them equal amounts of love and affection. They know they’re loved but I cant help but feel that our 1 on 1 time is very limited. Infact the only chance I really have to spend 1 on 1 time is when one of the boys are off nursery due to sickness or injury…in almost 3 years we have had our fair shares of trips to A&E, but the positive is that for a few hours at least, I get the opportunity to spend quality time with said injured child (unfortunate circumstances I know)

Sometimes -a lot of the time- I feel bad that I can’t just sit and play with my babies because they’re both ALWAYS there. Which of course I’m very grateful for but 99% of the time they’re both in constant competition for my attention which leads to scuffles and shouting. When me or my partner need to nip to the shops or whatever we occasionally take one of the Twins which I thought would be creating slots for ample 1 on 1 time but this infact leads to the Twin who has been “left behind” having a complete meltdown, tantrum galore which often doesn’t fizzle out until his brother has returned. So as you can imagine, not much opportunity to sit and read or play a nice game or just have a conversation on our own.

Which brings me back to the reason why I’ve written this down today, one of them has been off with the lergy the passed couple days… and it’s been great! Even though he’s not totally himself we have had uninterrupted cuddles, sang songs without shouting, played games without fighting and even had a nap together! Its not often i get chance to do this and i can’t help but wonder if its something that will impact on how my boys behave when they’re older…

 I don’t really have anyone who I can speak to who understands fully how the challenges of twins makes you feel.

I just hope they both grow older knowing they’re equally loved and that we can create somewhat of a personal bond individually and not just as a package of 3. I’ve read some really good tips on how to ensure both child can nurture their own unique personality and I can see they have that already. One loves singing, climbing and monsters whilst the other likes football and is more…shall we say cautious and reserved with most things. However they are both very CLINGY and take a while to warm up in social situations. I am that mum that literally has a child latched onto each leg when trying to carry out any activity outside the house.

Either way, I’ll just continue to do my best and will enjoy spending time with each child wether they’re together or rolling solo! 

This was something I just wanted to get off my chest, ironically written whilst the poorly boy is having a nap 🙂 

 Would love to know if anyone can relate to this topic too! 

Can I have your DNA please Mum?

Can I have your DNA please Mum?

I remember the day I found out my Nanna wasn’t really my Nanna…

“Mum, why is our name different to Nannas?” I was just minding my business trying to connect the dots, I must of been about 10 years old sat in my Nannas living room and this thought just randomly came to mind.

My Grandad jumps into our conversation and responds with the following statement which quite literally has scarred me for life.

“Iris isn’t your real grandma”

I’m sorry what? Where the fu*k did that come from? Excuse me? Who said that?!

Like a deer caught in headlights it was at this point my mum had to explain the best she could to a now emotionally unstable 10 year old that her Nanna was infact not her real Nanna. How can this be? From what I can remember the conversation was a mess but it was indeed true and took me a long time to accept…

Long story short, my biological grandmother up and left the face of the earth in the early 1960s, leaving my grandad to raise 3 children aged 10months to 4 years by himself. He subsequently met my Nanna Iris who stepped in and raised them as her own and further went on to be the best Nanna ever to all of her grandchildren born after. Being the youngest grandchild I firmly believe she had a soft spot for me, that and the fact that she’d blatantly tell me I was her fave.

She died in August 2005.

Since the death of my Nanna the question has always been at the back of my mind and I have never been able to get answers. So who was this mysterious woman who up and left? I’ll always know who my Nanna was but who the hell is my Grandmother? We’d searched all the ancestry websites, signed up to free trials, cancelled them just in time and signed up to try again and again but no luck. I’ve been told this woman who went by the name of Patricia Wallace was of Polynesian decent and was infact a Maori. I’ve been told she was a Scottish born woman on the run and I’ve been told she was the equivalent of a crazy bag lady from Ireland. But all of these theories have been proven to of been inaccurate.

She is a myth…She is untraceable…She is possibly make belief.

Regardless, I have decide at the grand age of 25 that i need to know my heritage, my background, my ethnic coding. So I have ordered a DNA kit from ancestry.com in the hope that we can establish just what we’re made of. I have asked my mother to do the spit test purely because she’s the closest match and we should be able to establish just what our other background is. The results can take anywhere from 5-6 weeks to come back so in the meantime we shall wait.

I have since watched the Disney Movie Moana (which btw has an amazing storyline, no word of I lie I cried throughout) but I can’t help but feel there is some connection between myself and the Native Maori folk. I mean, my mum and uncle bare very similar features to the Polynese and it’s visible even through animation.

I have no idea what to expect from the results but no doubt I’ll write about it and share my experience with the whole DNA who do you think you are stuff. I already have bad anxiety and this is just a form of self torture.

If anyone has done the DNA test, comment and let me know how your experience went. Maybe you had a surprise result? Maybe you traced your history back to The Royals like our good ode Danny Dyer…whatever your outcome feel free to share.

Finally made a blog

Finally made a blog

FB_IMG_1505773956874For quite some time my friends and family have been telling me to write a blog, because for some reason they seem to find enjoyment in my daily struggles with life.

So here it goes…the very first blog!

I am a mother to twin boys who will turn 3 in November and deep down these guys are probably the driving force for me to start blogging. There is a somewhat need for me to escape everyday stresses after being up at the crack of dawn, working all day, parenting and being as domesticated as I can etc only to find I am still not tired enough to go to bed yet, when in actual fact it’s 11.37pm and i know it starts all over again the next day…but I need to vent.

So thus my blog is born.

This is about real life issues that ordinary folks deal with, working your ass off to put food on the table only for your kids to just throw it at the walls and on the floor, dealing with relationships and friendships, dealing with stress and anxiety, dealing with shitty neighbours, balancing work and family…all the while hoping my eyebrows are at least somewhat even and that my numbers will show up on the euro millions.

If you find anything I write about entertaining or useful I will be happy with that…and can say I’ve done my bit in at least helping one person in some way or another.

I’ve been told I’m a really good agony aunt so feel free to use this platform also to vent, debate and just get it off your chest..whatever IT may be.
Just don’t forget to put the kettle on.

I’ll have mine strong with two sugars please!