It’s occurred to me that I only get chance to bond with my children properly when one of them is poorly.
Since having Twins I have always tried to show them equal amounts of love and affection. They know they’re loved but I cant help but feel that our 1 on 1 time is very limited. Infact the only chance I really have to spend 1 on 1 time is when one of the boys are off nursery due to sickness or injury…in almost 3 years we have had our fair shares of trips to A&E, but the positive is that for a few hours at least, I get the opportunity to spend quality time with said injured child (unfortunate circumstances I know)
Sometimes -a lot of the time- I feel bad that I can’t just sit and play with my babies because they’re both ALWAYS there. Which of course I’m very grateful for but 99% of the time they’re both in constant competition for my attention which leads to scuffles and shouting. When me or my partner need to nip to the shops or whatever we occasionally take one of the Twins which I thought would be creating slots for ample 1 on 1 time but this infact leads to the Twin who has been “left behind” having a complete meltdown, tantrum galore which often doesn’t fizzle out until his brother has returned. So as you can imagine, not much opportunity to sit and read or play a nice game or just have a conversation on our own.
Which brings me back to the reason why I’ve written this down today, one of them has been off with the lergy the passed couple days… and it’s been great! Even though he’s not totally himself we have had uninterrupted cuddles, sang songs without shouting, played games without fighting and even had a nap together! Its not often i get chance to do this and i can’t help but wonder if its something that will impact on how my boys behave when they’re older…
I don’t really have anyone who I can speak to who understands fully how the challenges of twins makes you feel.
I just hope they both grow older knowing they’re equally loved and that we can create somewhat of a personal bond individually and not just as a package of 3. I’ve read some really good tips on how to ensure both child can nurture their own unique personality and I can see they have that already. One loves singing, climbing and monsters whilst the other likes football and is more…shall we say cautious and reserved with most things. However they are both very CLINGY and take a while to warm up in social situations. I am that mum that literally has a child latched onto each leg when trying to carry out any activity outside the house.
Either way, I’ll just continue to do my best and will enjoy spending time with each child wether they’re together or rolling solo!
This was something I just wanted to get off my chest, ironically written whilst the poorly boy is having a nap 🙂
Would love to know if anyone can relate to this topic too!